"The agents of the President’s cabinet reported that the denizens of this world were called Iraqis, and the lands were known as the Middle East. We found that these Iraqis were a weak race, farming their fields and living peacefully in the countryside. I feared that they would prove no more a challenge than the Vietnamese, and would not appease the hunger of the American war machine for long. The generals and politically connected companies, quickly swayed by their lust for war, agreed that it was time to leave this dull world and lay claim to the domain of the Middle East.

"While the war propagandists kept close watch over the workings of the Hegemon, the masses looked to the President’s men as their leaders. Two leaders arose who were well respected and feared by the various cliques in D.C. – George H.W. Bush, a former Vice President for the legendary and ruthless chieftain Ronald Reagan, and Dan Quayle, a ferocious warrior proficient with both a sword and a spear. These powerful leaders were expected to direct the Hegemon to a swift and savage victory over the Iraqis. Thus, as the Hegemon gradually channeled through the rift into the Middle East, Bush and Quayle began to plan their assault against the Iraqi stronghold of Baghdad.

"The attack against Baghdad was catastrophic. Our armies, expecting to meet weak resistance, charged headlong into the enemy forces. Surprisingly, the Iraqi soldiers held our forces at bay. Then they unleashed warriors mounted upon machines of iron and steel to devastate our troops. The Iraqis forced our troops to retreat back into the swamplands surrounding our outpost and the Portal where, only by invoking the United Nations’ rules and regulations, were we able to escape. This decisive and humiliating defeat threw the Hegemon into chaos. Bush and Quayle blamed each other’s incompetence for the failure, and the Stormtroopers quickly polarized into factions that supported either chieftain. The war propagandists desperately sought a remedy to the violence that was sure to follow, but the volatile nature of Americans made it difficult to appeal to reason or wisdom. I realized that the Hegemon needed a strong leader that could unify the D.C. clans under his control – and be kept in his place. Thus did I first learn of George W. Bush the Destroyer...

"G.W. Bush, governor of Texas and owner of the Texas Rangers baseball franchise, was well honored by most Americans within the Hegemon. More important, he was extremely lustful, and this made him easily corruptible. With help from the propaganda machine, I set the eager Bush upon the horned throne of the Commander in Chief. To his credit, Bush was a ruthless dictator who inspired awe and terror from his warriors. While the Hegemon rallied under Bush and the other leaders acquiesced control to him, it was I who dictated policy by blackmailing and bribing Bush."

The next few pages of this document are missing, but the rest of what was recovered ends by saying that Bush was eventually betrayed by some of his own generals who called themselves "the Democrats." Goodness only knows what will happen next. As the document makes clear, "The savage, brutal tendencies of the masses are easily manipulated by those who hold true power. Power is the true force that drives the great destructive machine that is the Hegemon. Those who imagine themselves in possession of this power rally around the flag of violence. Yet without a common foe, even the leaders of Americans blindly turn on each other. The appetite for destruction that prevails amongst these fools drives the Hegemon; might and might alone is honored above all things."

P.S. This above, with some changes, is from a Warcraft 2 game manual miraculously still with me.

December 2, 2006